Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
