i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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