Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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