jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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