I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
