They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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