what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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