He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
