There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
