I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
