he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
