C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
