Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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