who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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