Are we in a gay sports bar?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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