brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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