called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
