I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
