Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
