After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The best revenge is premature balding
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
