Can Purell be used as lube?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
