And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
