I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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