new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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