Do you still have your period?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
