It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
