you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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