so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
