We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
