I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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