its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
