i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
