idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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