Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
