i don't like sucking hair
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
