I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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