me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
