Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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