Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
