I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
