If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
