What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
