i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize