accomplished twins. life is a go
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
