now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
