He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
