Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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