I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
why is half of my head shaved?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
