Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
