you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
