So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You smell like stripper and shame
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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