I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
