So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
