Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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