my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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