Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
