you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
