You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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