bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.