Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.