Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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