So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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