Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk http://tfl.nu/jksc

Replies (39) Good night (4222) Bad night (1010)
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life? http://tfl.nu/jl0s

Replies (34) Good night (3328) Bad night (981)
Favorite
(253): View more from Washington

don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(253): don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects. http://tfl.nu/678l

Replies (15) Good night (856) Bad night (3048)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on. http://tfl.nu/5vnb

Replies (20) Good night (3750) Bad night (566)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j

Replies (6) Good night (3972) Bad night (1040)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up. http://tfl.nu/oiun

Replies (10) Good night (4773) Bad night (1085)
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night? http://tfl.nu/cew2

Replies (17) Good night (4093) Bad night (1372)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him http://tfl.nu/slwx

Replies (12) Good night (4222) Bad night (1726)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face. http://tfl.nu/7qv4

Replies (21) Good night (1428) Bad night (5476)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being. http://tfl.nu/247a

Replies (13) Good night (3795) Bad night (1483)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship? http://tfl.nu/kgkd

Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (639)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter... http://tfl.nu/2dxo

Replies (10) Good night (1675) Bad night (849)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit http://tfl.nu/jw8x

Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (590)
Favorite
(636): View more from Missouri

I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night

(314): View more from Missouri

Welcome to 22

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(636): I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night (314): Welcome to 22 http://tfl.nu/2vo1

Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (622)
Favorite
(604): View more from British Columbia

The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(604): The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada (1-604): PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES http://tfl.nu/q2yd

Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (291)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard