so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just forgot I was standing up.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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