Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
