i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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